Questions and Contentment: Bakit kaya?

Ang tagal ko na din na hindi nakakapaglagay ng blog ko dito. Madami lang nangyari: nagpahinga, kumain, nagtrabaho, at kung anu-ano pa. Kung may nagbabasa man ng mga blogs ko, siguro 'yung iba nagtataka, "Aba, nag-Tagalog" , wala lang. Katulad nga nung sinabi ko dati, lahat naman ng nilalagay ko dito, impromptu. Wala na akong ginagawang edit-edit. Mas gusto ko lang mas ma-express siguro yung mga nasa isip ko kaya ganun.

Anyways, ang dami lang na nasa isip ko ngayon: blessings, problems, love, spirituality, basta yung mga yun. Nanghihinayang lang din ako. Parang ang dami kasing nagbago. Alam mo 'yung pakiramdam na 'yung mga kaibigan mo, parang iba na? Actually, isang bagay yan sa mga babae. Lumaki kasi ako na "one-of-the-boys", meaning mas nakaka-close ko 'yung mga lalaki. Siguro kasi boyish din kasi ang kilos ko, tapos 'yung mga trip nila, yun din. What I've noticed din kasi is that 'yung samahan ng mga lalaki, kahit anong mangyari, mawala man 'yung isa ng matagal o hindi, pag nagkita-kita parang walang pinagbago. Parehas yung hampas at asaran na meron sila. Ang napansin ko lang sa ilan sa mga kaibigan kong babae, parang pag nawala ka lang sa sirkulasyon nila ng, let's say, ilang linggo, parang hindi ka na nila kilala? Ok lang sana kung 'yung mga kaibigan mo na masasabi mo na hindi pa nasa Panginoon, ang nakakalungkot, kahit kasi yung mga "Sis" mo, ganun din. Napansin ko yan dito sa church na pinupuntahan ko ngayon. Ayoko makaramdam ng ganito, kaso hindi ko maiiwasan masaktan at magtampo. 

Nilipat kasi nila ako sa isang mission area mula dun sa main. After nun, (tapos naging in-a-relationship pa ako), parang iba na sila: as in silang lahat halos. Ayoko makaramdam ng ganito kasi ang lagi kong pinapaalala sa sarili ko na hindi dapat ako tumingin sa tao pero dapat sa Panginoon lang ako nakatingin. Pero nung nakaraan, yung isa sa tinuring ko na ate sa church, parang ang cold na lang bigla. Yung dating na halos beso-beso kayo, ngayon, ngiti lang. Ni hindi na nga nag-uusap. Nakakalungkot lang talaga. Ayokong ma-stumble. 

Nakakalungkot lang talaga. Ang dami ko kasi gusto sabihin sa kanya (maging dun sa iba), pero wala. Walang nakakahalata na gusto ko na din umiyak. Dinadalangin ko lang din sa Panginoon na makita ko din kung ano din yung blindspot ko. Ako lang ba ang nag-iisip nun o ano? Paano ba mabebreak yun?

Maging dependent lang talaga ako kay God. Mas maenjoy ko lang sana 'yung love at joy na talagang siya lang naman yung makakapagpuno sa buhay na pinagkatiwala niya. Maging kuntento sa kanya alone. 

Madami man akong tanong, alam ko nandyan si God. Madami man nangyari, alam ko hindi Niya ako pababayaan.

Dinadalangin ko lang na sana, tulungan niya ko na mag-extend pa din ng love and understanding sa puso ko sa lahat ng likha Niya.

Too Quiet you Think? PRAY

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."

-Galatians 5:22-23

Have you ever felt that God in some of your moments was too quiet? That He wasn't listening to you? Or that He's not answering? I felt those so many times! And we usually grumble and let irritation strikes us out. 

But God always teach and reminds me that I should not worry and let the negativity sink in me. God wanted me to be more dependent on Him and to PRAY more.

You'll ask, "what should I pray?". Well, you could pray anything to God! But what I learned was that despite on not hearing Him, negative outcomes or shortcoming, we should be thankful to Him.

And no matter what, let the Spirit filled your life.

 Listen to Him more than to yourself.

Struggles and Sensation

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

-1 Corinthians 10:13

Being a follower doesn't mean that you're already in hay or lying your head on a bed of roses. It wasn't just the reds and violets on flowers and roses. It also includes the thorns and imperfection that is in the package.

I don't grew up on a Christian family. I have the secular lifestyle before I committ my life to Christ. I let the world cave in in me and go with the flow in it thinking that I'm happy about it. But God, in many points in my life, made me realize that the true happiness would only be find in His presence and the only rest is in Him.

On that moment, I let God take me over. But it wasn't the end of all the struggles. I just noticed that it was just the start.

There are certain point in my life that my flesh seek the previous secular lifestyle that I have. And there are moment that you would really like to give in on that sensation that the enemy flows in your veins that made me feel guilty and worthless.

But God reminded me that this things happens because of two things: (1) He allow this like Job as a test of faith; (2) this is consequence of your sins.

I know that this sensation were the consequences of my previous sins. And I know that this temptation is common to all of us but God let you face this because He knew that we'll escape it, with Him throughout the way.

I'm not perfect. I'm a sinner. But God by His grace gave me so much opportunity in living accordingly to His will.

I'm facing struggles. All of us face this endeavors, but the Scriptures said we "can do anything through Christ who gives me strength" (Phil.4:13).

I'm praying to all of you who face challenges and struggles today. Just to let you know, God is with you. Be faithful and keep on praying.

May God be with you in all times.